Gloryfades.org

I’ve taken a small hiatus from writing the two most stubborn essays thus far to make a new layout. I think they may be stubborn essays because I’m in fact taking this time to make this layout. In any case, I’m still in the mood for Jake Gyllenhaal. Now to get back to the essay!

My feet itch. Not literally but in that metaphoric way that only means one thing: I need to get out of here. Where do I want to go? You name the place and I want to go there. There’s only one thing hindering me right now. The cash. I know, I know. You’ve heard it all before. Everyone’s poor. Yes, I know everyone is poor and I wish, oh how I so wish I wasn’t a part of that category. Why must I be like everyone else?!

Feeling sorry for myself isn’t doing anything to help me get over this, though. Last night I went to a discussion on travel put on by Hot Prof and a few other people. I kept fidgeting while I was sitting there because that’s what travel does to me, it makes me fidget. It’s not discomfort, though, it’s more of an energy. It’s that itch.

Where do I want to go though? It doesn’t really matter. I have a list of places, though. There aren’t big reasons behind them. I just want to go there because I can. I wish to see things I can’t see here. I want to do something with my life, make it a little more interesting.

A week ago my friend Alex and I went out for coffee. She asked me the same question she asks me every time we get together. She lives in North Bay which is a good five hours away so we usually see each other once every three or four months. She asked me what was new in my life. And I couldn’t think of a single thing. Not one single thing had occurred in my life that hadn’t been disclosed in a letter or an email nor felt relevant enough to be mentioned. My mind was completely and utterly blank when she asked me.

I can’t live like this anymore, not having experienced anything outside of south-western Ontario. It just feels wrong. My university career is winding down and I’m not going to remember any of it because none of it was significant enough to remember. I go to school every day and I go home. Occasionally I work at a department store. No wonder I have nothing to be excited about, my life is boring!

Realizing that, I need to do something about it. It may take me awhile, but fuck it, I don’t care. I need to be excited about something and if it’s not school than I need to make something happen.

No one is going to hand me a plane ticket and a wad of cash, pat me on the back and send me off on an adventure. I need to do this by myself.