Imitation of Life
Olga on Dec 1st 2005
I’m at a crossroads and it’s putting some strain on my relationship with my mother.
I was supposed to spend the next semester at McMaster instead of Ryerson to accomodate this job at the CIBC. Well, I learned yesterday that that’s not going to happen. The courses I picked were non-transferable. I had already taken enough of those kind of courses to not need anymore. Wait, no. I need one more history course and that’s it, I’m done with all of my liberal studies courses. Whats left are all those marketing courses I’ve been putting off taking because I loathe marketing with such a fiery passion. I was so optimistic in my first year about marketing. Now I can’t stand the bloody subject!
Well, my fate at CIBC rested upon those transfer credits. Now that I cannot take those courses at Mac I need to start looking at my other options. I could continue doing this part-time thing, if I really wanted to, but it’s not something I’m keen on doing. I want to go to school and have a part-time job, yes, but not have a job and go to part-time school. After three years at Ryerson, the idea of leaving it now has really been a hard one to take, also. I love everything about Ryerson: it’s shoddy (for the most part) architecture, the wonderful instructors, those wonderful ladies I’ve come to know and love … none of that is something I want to give up.
So, I’ve decided that I’m going to quit CIBC after a month of working there. It will be two months by the time I quit at the end of December. No sense in jumping the gun completely. I’m off school for the Christmas holidays, so I may as well work fulltime and have money for presents.
My mother, on the other hand, seems to think that I’m capable of going to school and working at CIBC at the same time. Next semester I’m going to bite the bullet and take five courses again, a full courseload. I don’t want to take an extra two years to finish school unless there is some real added advantage to it (like majoring in History, which if Ryerson plans on shaping ACS into that, I will be doing!). I’m going to be taking all of those professionally-related courses that I deferred for as long as possible next semester cause I can’t (nay, I won’t) put them off for any longer. I need to stop hiding behind history as much as I don’t want to!
Boo. So, my mom and I have been a little testy with each other lately. I’ll take the blame for most of it cause I do have very little patience when it comes to her and school. After she walks away, muttering curses under her breathe, I end up feeling like shit. Last night, she actually stopped speaking to me for a bit :S That was really upseting. She never stops speaking with me!
The other problem is that I want to move to Toronto. I can’t do that unless I take out a line of credit to pay for rent (at least for the first few months). She thinks this is a bad idea, which in the grand scheme of things is probably true because it’s another debt that I’m adding to the hump on my back, but I feel its something that needs to be done. I’m entering my last year of school and I haven’t been on my own once. Travelling doesn’t count, either! Most people say it’s a bad mistake, moving out, but I think it’s a mistake that I need to learn on my own turf. I can’t have someone hold my hand the entire way into adulthood. It’d be nice, but I’m beginning to feel a little crowded in this womb. It’s time I went out on my own.
So I’m a little stressed out. I’ve got a letter of resignation I need to write, a resume I need to re-write, a personal line of credit I need to apply for AND … I have exams coming next week :S At least now that I’m down to three courses, it’s only three exams. But still, one of those exams belongs to Dr. Kislenko, and I always come out a little woozy from one of his exams.
So if I don’t update again for a long-ass time … it’s probably because I’ve imploded from stress, or because I’m in the process of moving, or something along those lines. Something .. not fun :S
Filed in Family & Friends, Hot Prof, School, Work | 11 responses so far
Michelle Dec 4th 2005 at 07:30 pm 1
Your mom just wants the best for you, as all parents do. I know it’s frustrating because sometimes they don’t heed to what you *want* I mean, it would be better for me to have majored in Psychology & gotten on the road to being a therapist. I could have made enough to be comfortable in life. That’s what my mom wanted me to do. But it’s not what I wanted… Psychology is fun, but not for a lifetime. Now I’m heading in a direction that is extremely unstable and I think she secretly resents me for it. In time she’ll understand it’s not up to her (anymore) what I do with my life, just like your mom will understand that. They just don’t want to let go…. We need to make our own mistakes to learn!
Alyssa Dec 9th 2005 at 03:08 pm 2
Oh, I hate parent drama! Can’t they just shut up and support us?! Sorry, pulling a little personal experience into that one. But I hope everything works out for you, and good luck managing the stress of it all.
Alyssa Dec 9th 2005 at 03:09 pm 3
Beautiful layout, by the way!
Akasha Dec 11th 2005 at 04:46 pm 4
Thanks Michelle, I know she wants the best for me, but it’s hard when she’s so annoying, lol. I’m not the first nor the last to experience, this, I just gotta remember that. Thanks for the lovely message
Akasha Dec 11th 2005 at 04:47 pm 5
Thanks Alyssa, so far it’s going okay.
Akasha Dec 11th 2005 at 04:47 pm 6
Thanks!
Imke Dec 11th 2005 at 08:50 pm 7
I hear ya!
All I can say is, do what YOU feel is best for you. If you feel that you should and want to stay at Ryerson (which I can totally understand) then do so. As I just saw in the latest entry here, you have already quit at CIBC. I will say that that was a good decision, because now you can look for another job that will actually be a *part-time* job.
As for the moving out… I will say the same rule applies.
And you obviously feel best about moving out; you seem to feel like that’s something you just “need” to do, and I know what you mean. Of course it’s not the greatest thing having to take on another loan… :-/ But I will say one thing in regards to the whole “moving out of home is a mistake” deal - who said that?! That’s bullshit. :p I mean, seriously, I moved out right after I had graduated from high school, before I started college. And I love it! Sure, I don’t live ON MY OWN because my boyfriend lives with me, but, as you may know, for 1.5 years we had a weekend relationship…so I WAS, in fact, on my own during the whole week.
And I will honestly say that that was a wonderful experience for me, and it helped me become an independent, self-confident and more “grown-up” person. *nods*
So I would say, go for it!
Akasha Dec 14th 2005 at 12:14 am 8
Thanks Imke, you’re such an inspiration
anon Sep 16th 2006 at 12:35 am 9
Hey,
sorry to disappoint you, but Kislenko IS married.
Akasha Sep 18th 2006 at 08:31 am 10
Oh I totally know
But what makes you say that anyway? It’s not like I professed my love in this entry …. 
Anonymous Oct 12th 2006 at 08:37 pm 11
Oh, I guess I couldn’t find the entry in which you did, and did not realize you knew, lol.