Gloryfades.org

My feet itch. Not literally but in that metaphoric way that only means one thing: I need to get out of here. Where do I want to go? You name the place and I want to go there. There’s only one thing hindering me right now. The cash. I know, I know. You’ve heard it all before. Everyone’s poor. Yes, I know everyone is poor and I wish, oh how I so wish I wasn’t a part of that category. Why must I be like everyone else?!

Feeling sorry for myself isn’t doing anything to help me get over this, though. Last night I went to a discussion on travel put on by Hot Prof and a few other people. I kept fidgeting while I was sitting there because that’s what travel does to me, it makes me fidget. It’s not discomfort, though, it’s more of an energy. It’s that itch.

Where do I want to go though? It doesn’t really matter. I have a list of places, though. There aren’t big reasons behind them. I just want to go there because I can. I wish to see things I can’t see here. I want to do something with my life, make it a little more interesting.

A week ago my friend Alex and I went out for coffee. She asked me the same question she asks me every time we get together. She lives in North Bay which is a good five hours away so we usually see each other once every three or four months. She asked me what was new in my life. And I couldn’t think of a single thing. Not one single thing had occurred in my life that hadn’t been disclosed in a letter or an email nor felt relevant enough to be mentioned. My mind was completely and utterly blank when she asked me.

I can’t live like this anymore, not having experienced anything outside of south-western Ontario. It just feels wrong. My university career is winding down and I’m not going to remember any of it because none of it was significant enough to remember. I go to school every day and I go home. Occasionally I work at a department store. No wonder I have nothing to be excited about, my life is boring!

Realizing that, I need to do something about it. It may take me awhile, but fuck it, I don’t care. I need to be excited about something and if it’s not school than I need to make something happen.

No one is going to hand me a plane ticket and a wad of cash, pat me on the back and send me off on an adventure. I need to do this by myself.